LATE BREAKING NEWS
| YOUNG DONKEY "PEPPY" SEIZED FROM HARRIS BOY COMPOUND IN EARLY MORNING RAID | |
| By Naked Man Tailor STAFF REPORTER After weeks of unsuccessful negotiations with the Harris boy, the Pea City "Special Squad" forced its way into the Harris boy compound early this morning and seized 'Peppy' the young donkey that was being held there by the Harris boy. "The boy was using Peppy as his trump card" said 'Special Squad' Leader Boss G. "Normally the squad can make quick work of this type of situation simply by burning down the house and shooting everyone inside" said Boss G, "our only regret is that the Harris boy was somehow able to sneak out of the compound before the raid started and is still at large." It was later learned that at the time of the raid the boy was sited at the neighborhood convenience store buying tonic water, olives, and lottery tickets before eluding officials once again. The traumatized young Peppy was taken back home to 'Early' Phelp's farm where after a short rest he was finally reunited with his plow. "When peppy saw his plow" said 'Early', "his mouth just foamed." Breaking into tears, Mr. Phelps said "The Harris Boy and his followers said Peppy liked pizza and beer so much he didn't want to see his plow anymore, but if you saw that donkey foam, you would think differently." |
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