lastweek

HARRIS BOY
BLOWS LOAD IN PHELPS' ASS

By William Sheepboot, Jr.
STAFF WRITER
Police arrested the Harris boy last night around 6pm at the Tongue Brook Country Club for the shooting death of a donkey owned by local farmer "Early" Phelps. The Harris boy told police it was an accident and that he was actually trying to make friends with the donkey when he shot him. Mr. Phelps' donkeys occasionally get loose and wander onto the golf course where the Harris boy was employed part-time. Police told reporters a fine of $500.00 was set, and was later paid by Overton Harris, an uncle. The boy was released and stormed out of the building swearing revenge on everybody in Pea City.

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PHOTOGRAPHER, NAME WITHHELD

UPCOMING FARM NEWS

-Imports Threaten Tiny Sheep Sales

-Luke Squatnick Seeds Melon

-Hateful Locust Coming: Hungry for Love

-Fall Compost, Not for Chewing

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QUICK NEWS

-"Hideous Death Face Day" cancelled at Pea Middle School.

-12th Grade reinstated at Pea High.

-Nate Perkie invents cereal pencil.

-Insane Citizens Club meets Fri. at Ma Whiskers.

-House Dragging Meet postponed due to dry heat.

-Pea City Accountant finds religion, indited anyway.